Take a deep breath, fill my lungs.
In my heart the black specks of leaden hurt stir, suspended momentarily.
When I exhale, the specks swirl around, dispersing to every corner
a heart-shaped snow globe.
And in that moment, there is beautiful, warm relief.
But then the heavy specks of lead settle back down, replacing the ache, weighing down into the funneled part of my purple heart.
And the battle wages on.
Purple heart for bruise, and not bravery. And why not bravery? Why, Heart?
If only to scream at her, “man up!!”
If only she would pick herself up
If only she would listen. Listen to Reason.
My brain, she’s with me.
Leader in this revolt against my heart.
A little more military than is good, at times. Well intended, aggressive in approach. Fiercely protective and seeking reconciliation, reestablished harmony. But
we all know
that in the end
the heart wins
it always does
Little fickle crybaby of an organ — to the left! it pulls. to the right! it tugs.
Its strings threaten to control my hands, my feet; a marionette at its mercy.
But yet. Heart and mind forget
their quiet counterpart, the secret weapon of each battle
intuitive and humble, the wise young soul
BFF of the heart, she’s the hope in the struggle
Soul’s the name, intrinsic motivation is her game.
she seeks God always – perhaps she knows she will be with Him always
When mind and heart are staging World War Three, my soul flees
The soul, espionage of war, seeker of healing and peace.
She goes to the presence of YHWH, communing, spirit with Spirit.
I AM, He understands the war of the flesh
He’s lived it Himself, He knows
BUT He is the one person who has ever claimed victory.
The greatest war hero
He whispers sweet secrets of His success in her ear
and my soul, my spirit, finds peace, promise of a hope and a future.
The battle of heart and mind persists
But the whole can be stilled
I am (in)stilled with the Rock, the foundation
peace washes over me
as I inhale
specks of hurt
relieved by grace
and the battle
Half-formed expression partially from my journal. Intentionally vague. Me feling artsy. How fun! Enjoy.
Have you ever fought an inner battle? What was that like for you?